i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize