You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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