Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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