His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
