I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Boobs are out for the taking
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
