so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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