no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
