He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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