If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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