The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
