Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
