I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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