Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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