I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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