I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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