You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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