I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
