there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
