Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
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Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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