Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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