I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ttyl tear gas
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
