I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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