we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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