i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My bed is full of blood and feathers
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
