Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
