she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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