Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
