Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
