It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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