We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
