i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
