i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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