My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
