hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.