in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize