That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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