I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
