I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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