If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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