I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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