I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
