You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
