Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
