You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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