im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
