She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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