do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
