you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My feet surprised me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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