Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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