Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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