So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
