I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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