I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
