you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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