that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am naked and annoyed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.