the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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