if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now