I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?