And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS