Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
