The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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