You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
